Sweet Bitter Honey Read online

  “Listen.” He turned away from the stainless-steel vessel and glared at her. “I didn’t sabotage this thing on purpose. It failed, okay? Broke, blew a gasket, something that I am attempting to diagnose or would be if I weren’t occupied being reamed out by you.” She blew out a breath, started to speak, but he held up a hand. “Spare me. You’re gonna have to short the order. It happens. Jesus.”

  “Unacceptable,” she spat out, tucking the computer under one bare arm. She was parading around the brewery in her sales suit, a tight black skirt, sleeveless silk blouse and the obnoxiously way-too-high heels. Ryan forced himself not to drag his eyeballs up and down her frame as he’d done that first moment he saw her, on her ass on the brewery floor. He refused to give her the satisfaction. “I need five pallets filled and ready in a week. Make it happen, brewer.” She barked out the last word, emphasizing his role as opposed to hers. Fury made the edges of his vision redden.

  Without realizing he was doing it, he reached out, grabbed her arm and spun her around, even while his brain engaged and reminded him that man-handling her was a big no-no on so many levels he’d might spend his lifetime regretting it. “It won’t happen and you know it. Stop coming down here and acting like such a bossy…” He looked away and bit back the word he wanted to use. Her skin was hot under his palm and his body was reacting to her proximity, which only made him madder. She looked at his hand then up at him, her crazy green eyes snapping with something he thought he recognized.

  He let go of her, but she didn’t move. “Tomorrow morning five-thirty a.m. Be here. Wear jeans, a T-shirt and your hair pulled back. I’m sick and tired of trying to make you understand this process. You are gonna brew with me. To appreciate what we do, so you can get exactly how pissed off you make everybody with your demands.”

  Her eyes flickered down his chest. “I’m busy tomorrow morning.”

  Ryan moved directly into her space and let their bodies graze each other. “Yeah, I know. With me.” He leaned over her, trying like hell not to touch her. Dear God, he was horny. Since his hookup with Cole, he hadn’t had sex in nearly two months. He missed it—he missed Cole. He felt bad for fucking him and running. But, of course, he was now somehow within a split second of laying a tongue-tangler on the maddening, frustrating, hot woman in front of him. He stepped away.

  She narrowed her eyes at him. Ryan was highly gratified to see her breathing fast.

  Yeah, he would kiss her, but not yet.

  “See you tomorrow morning.” He grinned at her. “Don’t be late.”

  The click-clack of her heels on the concrete told him she’d left. He put his hand on either side of the fermenter’s door and let the press of cold steel calm him. She would be trouble. But he needed it, or something like it. His phone buzzed with a text from Quinn.

  I saw that.

  Ryan rolled his eyes and responded, You didn’t see shit. Or you’re imagining things.

  Quinn: Leave her alone. I mean it.

  Ryan: Don’t boss me. I get enough of that from her.

  Quinn: Okay, then fuck her and get it over with. Jesus. You two are worse than a Moonlighting episode. And, may I remind you, this was your idea.

  Ryan: Damn, you are dating yourself, brother. And hiring ‘someone’ was my idea. NOT her. Oh and ‘fuck her and get it over with’ is not exactly a CEO-worthy comment, for the record.

  Quinn: Yeah, well, just do it and clear the air already.

  Ryan: Maybe.

  Quinn: Coming to dinner tonight? Audrey’s place?

  Ryan winced, recalling the last time he’d been over for dinner at his brother’s girlfriend’s house.

  Ryan: No, thanks. I’m exhausted.

  Quinn: Suit yourself. You can’t avoid him forever you know.

  Ryan: Will you butt the hell out of my love life, please, and thank you very much. Jesus. You just got thru telling me to fuck our redheaded marketing director. Now you want me to do what exactly with Audrey’s brother? He’s the one ignoring me, anyway.

  Quinn: You should come over. Audrey and I want to talk to you guys about something.

  Ryan: Fine. Whatever. Are you guys getting married?

  Quinn: No.

  Ryan waited for the rest of the text, but nothing showed up, so he responded, Okay. I’ll be there. Can I drop Jamie with Tracey and the boys at your place?

  Quinn: Sure. Seven. See you then. I’d offer to share a ride, but Audrey and I are going out after.

  Ryan: So, this is more about a set-up for me and her brother?

  Quinn: No. Maybe. Anyway, see you later.

  Ryan tossed the phone onto the lab table and tried to resume his diagnostic perusal of the fermenter, but his head was a mess. Between lusting over Lynette during the few moments of the day when he didn’t want to throttle her, their latest expansion and brew pub chaos and his life as single father, the last thing he needed was another run-in with Cole Traynor.

  Memories of Cole’s compelling but wounded face and his equally incredible body flashed through Ryan’s brain, making him shiver. The man was hot, eager, and had been ready for action the second Ryan had suggested it. Ryan would have kept up the relationship if Cole had been inclined, but he’d made it clear they were not ‘lovers’, merely fuck buddies, and that only once.

  Considering what the guy had been through, Ryan was hardly in a position to argue with him. So he’d left him alone. But Cole’s firm, Marine-forged physique haunted his fantasies. Although now, the prospect of hooking up with Lynette, his nemesis, was finally allowing some measure of relief regarding the nonstarter with Cole.

  It was probably a good thing Cole had kept him at a distance. The whole thing was such a tangle, especially throwing in the fact that the Traynor kids owned the distributor that Ryan had been on the verge of cutting loose. Now, of course, there were going to have to, or risk accusations of favoritism, thanks to Quinn and Audrey’s relationship. He still wasn’t sure how his brother and the hot woman he’d fallen for were going to work out those logistics. But it wasn’t his problem. Not yet.

  He sighed, picked up his phone and sent a text, knowing Cole’s phone was equipped with voice recognition software.

  Ryan: Hey, I hear we’re having dinner.

  Cole answered nearly immediately. I hear you’re joining us.

  Ryan: What’s the news we’re supposed to be getting?

  Cole: I think they’re buying a house. If so, I’m gonna buy hers.

  Ryan swallowed hard. That meant one thing—a guarantee of Cole at pretty much every family event going forward. He put his head on the desk. It was not going to be easy keeping his distance. He pictured the seduction he had planned for Lynette and shoved all memory of the highly erotic connection he’d shared with Audrey’s brother out of his head.

  He’d gone from four years of virtual celibacy to being faced with two options, equally frustrating and desirable. And the whole thing had his head in a very odd place—one where he could picture them all together which was, of course, ridiculous.

  Ryan: Are they getting married or what?

  Cole: I don’t think so. Audrey’s still not ready for that step, but I told her moving in with the guy is over halfway there.

  Ryan: Well, see you tonight.

  It took a while for Cole to answer. By the time his phone dinged with the response, Ryan had his head back inside the fermenter, trying to salvage some of the day before waving the surrender flag.

  Cole: I’ve missed you.

  Ryan stared at those simple words and a chill ran down his spine. He sat, trying to decide if and how to respond. Cole had so much bitterness and anger in him. Ryan would give anything for the man to let him in, let him help. But he’d refused, so they’d parted ways, both unhappy and unresolved. Ryan wanted something more, but Cole would not have it and had made that very clear in the weeks following their hot hookup.

  Finally, Ryan tapped out a simple answer. I did what you wanted. I left you alone.

  Cole: I know. Thanks.

 
; Ryan: But I didn’t like it.

  Cole: I know that, too.

  Deciding there was no good way to answer that, Ryan put the phone in his pocket and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearly three. He tossed the rag he’d been using to wipe down the sensors inside the fermenter and walked into his office for the weekly brewer’s meeting. No doubt about it—a shit day gone to hell and now he had to be around Audrey’s brother and pretend he felt nothing for him. Christ, he should have stayed in bed.

  Chapter Ten

  “I don’t care what anyone says, I am not letting that asshole call the shots. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Cole ran a hand down his face. He took a deep breath, the now familiar scents of his home office giving him comfort. His shoulders and back ached when he stretched them out while he sat listening to his boss make excuses.

  He’d started working out in earnest again after nearly a one-year hiatus from the gym. It provided him with a huge measure of relaxation that he’d forgotten even existed. He took a deep breath and attempted to temper his usual brusque manner.

  “These guys have suffered a massive security breach. A ton of information has been compromised. Banking and credit card information. Big-time shit, okay? He has to understand that.” After a few more minutes spent trying to convince the guy on the other end to pay for a stronger firewall, he hung up, unable to tolerate the obtuse politics of this job. Jesus, the military was so much more straightforward. He was the paid expert. People listened to him. He never had to beg anyone to take him seriously.

  He pulled his glasses off, rubbed the bridge of his nose and felt the dog bump up against his leg. He rubbed the animal’s ears and allowed his brain to drift, the ever-present headache never far from the surface. Muted, thanks to a new daily cocktail of meds. At this moment, right now, today, he wanted Ryan Shannon so badly it made his teeth ache, as the memory of their one night kept washing over him like a warm wave.

  He’d woken with a start when Ryan had kissed him, disoriented, sated but with a spinning brain. He got to his feet and felt around for his jeans. Ryan had helped him by pulling the denim up his legs. ‘That was pretty amazing,’ he’d said, helping Cole with his T-shirt.

  ‘Yeah,’ Cole had grunted, short, lame and utterly freaked out. He couldn’t do this. He was incapable of even considering a relationship. As much as he was dying to curl up in the circle of Ryan’s embrace and sleep, to truly relax in his arms, he wouldn’t allow himself to do it.

  He was the proverbial wounded warrior. Doped up, blind, dependent on everyone around him even for simple things—useless for all intents and purposes. Apparently, even getting dressed, it seemed. He stepped away from the other man’s soothing presence. ‘So, you know, that was fun and all, but, I um, well…’ He ran a hand through his hair.

  ‘It’s okay.’ Cole heard Ryan getting re-dressed, resignation in his voice. ‘I get it. Fun, but that’s it, right?’

  ‘Yeah. That.’ Cole tried not to contradict himself by yanking the other man close.

  ‘So, I’ll see you…around.’

  Cole had turned his face away. Had heard Ryan open then shut the front door. The sound deafened him with its finality. ‘Wait. Don’t leave,’ he’d whispered, dropping to the couch, freshly pounding skull in his hands, the dog shoving its worried nose up in his face. By the time Audrey had gotten home, he had been stretched out in his usual half-asleep state, sounds and nightmares holding him hostage. She’d helped him to his room and pulled the bed covers up to his chin once he’d collapsed there, mumbling about Ryan.

  He sighed and took hold of reality once more. Grabbing his encrypted phone, he played back the audio of the text exchange he’d shared with the man in question in his Bluetooth earpiece. Ryan Shannon came with a built-in family. The small boy that he’d raised from a newborn when the kid’s drug-addled mother had left him more or less on Ryan’s doorstep, was, according to Audrey, a near-carbon copy of his father in looks and temperament. Cole was not about to subject a child to his own personal hell. No matter how drawn he might be to the boy’s father.

  The meds, therapies, bone-crushing headaches and sudden scary descents into panic and depression—no, he’d keep all that to himself, thanks. Although, it would be nice to get laid again. He sighed and deleted the conversation so he wouldn’t be tempted to call him, to really talk. Of course, now it seemed he’d be confronted with Ryan once more, in the oh-so-familiar confines of Audrey’s house.

  He stretched and cocked his head, listening to yet another odd sound. It had to be the most annoying thing on the planet, this superhero-style hearing he’d developed. In the last six weeks, he had gotten past a lot of the overload moments and was able to carry on conversations even when he could hear the next-door neighbors having sex or arguing. He’d tried to develop it, to embrace and not fight it, to keep it from making him nuts. He’d go on long walks with Brutus and sit by the river, just listening. He did figure out how to discern birds’ eggs cracking open in nests nearby from the digging and chattering that went on among squirrels and other rodents.

  But this sound was totally new and something he’d spent the last week trying to figure out. It was a kind of whoosh-whoosh sound, but with a steadiness, like an underwater drumbeat. “Hey,” Audrey called out from the kitchen. “Thirsty?”

  “Yeah, I’m coming.” He stood, held out his hand and the dog’s lead slid into it. “You really are pretty good at this, aren’t you?” He smiled when the dog let out a woof of agreement. They ambled into the kitchen and Cole sank into a chair, now comfortable with the house’s layout and no longer earning bruises running into furniture or doors. “What’s up, sis?” He leaned toward her, hearing it again. “What in the hell is that noise?” He took the water and the pills she handed him.

  The noise got louder, then receded when she walked away. He gulped down the meds then touched his earpiece, which had started chirping the name of his boss. He shrugged and silenced the ringer, unwilling to engage in yet more office BS. Audrey moved around the kitchen, getting dinner together, burgers and a couple of salads he’d made earlier using the labels she’d had printed in Braille.

  He felt strong today but was getting nervous in anticipation of Ryan’s upcoming reappearance in his life. He reached out and snagged Audrey’s arm. She gasped when he pressed his ear to her belly. The maddening noise seemed to emanate from her and it was making him nuts. The whoosh-whoosh-whoosh filled his ear, like a drumbeat…no, like a heartbeat.

  “Audrey.” He gripped her hands. “Are you pregnant?”

  “What?” She jumped back and he sensed her heart start pounding. He put his hands over his ears. Christ in a sidecar—he could actually hear people’s hearts beating?

  “Could you… I mean, do you… Shit, I’m sorry. It’s not my business.” He couldn’t help but smile when he sensed her collapse into a chair and burst into tears next to him.

  “How can you tell?” she managed after a few seconds of waterworks.

  “I hear something that has got to be a heartbeat. It’s pretty loud, if you must know. You should go do a test or something.”

  “Oh God. I can’t be. I mean, it’s not…” She sighed, letting her sobs reduce to hiccups. He pulled her close, kissed her hair.

  “It’s okay. You guys should get married anyway. You’re great together.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” She leaned into him. “It’s complicated. With the business and stuff. And I’m just getting his kids to trust me.”

  “Yeah, well, I could be wrong. Go get one of those home tests. I’ll hold down the fort if they get here early. Besides, you guys bought the big house, right? Why not start filling it up with spawn?”

  She rose and left, trailing that crazy heartbeat noise with her. He smiled, patted the dog, got up and found a glass, drank some water.

  Ryan. He was going to be within kissing distance of him again, any minute. The headache was taking up residence in his skull once more.

  * * * *


  The doorbell rang. Cole got to his feet from his nervous perch on the couch. The dog was at his side, already starting to whine with anxiety matching the level of horny that ran up Cole’s spine the second Ryan stepped into the living room. “Hey,” he said, “c’mon in.”

  “Where’s Audrey?” Quinn asked, walking past Cole into the kitchen. “Babe?”

  “She’s at the drugstore.”

  “What? Why?” The worry was clear in the man’s voice. Cole sensed Ryan blow out a breath. The door flew open at that moment, surprising them all.

  “Goddamn it, Shannon,” Audrey burst out. Cole tensed.

  “Uh, what did I do?”

  Ryan pulled Cole down on the couch, put a hand on his leg. The combination of lust, worry and a strange sense of rightness surged through him. He could sit here forever, Ryan near enough to kiss. He put his hand on top of Ryan’s. “I told you,” he said, directing his comment at his sister, hoping to calm her down. He heard Quinn move toward her, knew the man had taken her in his arms.

  “What is it, Audrey?”

  “You—did you ever go back and get rechecked, you know, after your vasectomy?”

  Ryan let out a snort of laughter. Cole smiled. Then in an entirely natural move, put Ryan’s hand to his lips, sucking in huge breaths of everything that represented him, but the other man jerked out of his grip and stood. Cole sighed and sat back. His own fault, really. He shouldn’t be disappointed. He’d pushed him away, and Ryan was not a guy you had to tell anything twice.